


Soundless Wind Chime

by Coconut_Kid



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Time Travel, brief mention of character's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7923232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconut_Kid/pseuds/Coconut_Kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catch the time like a droplet of rain on your palm, but don’t let it leak through your fingers until you fulfill that one thing you came back for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soundless Wind Chime

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for TimeTravelAUs. The idea for his fanfic was basically born after watching the movie 'About Time'. The ones who have seen it will be able to catch a few references here and there...hopefully lol. And I know that I'm a piece of shit for giving you another angsty fic but honestly, embrace the feels and enjoy the ride!  
> p.s I made the ''book cover'' myself after fumbling with Photoshop for a solid month...

* * *

’’We're all travelling through time together every day of our lives. All we can do is do our best to relish this remarkable ride.’’

-Bill Nighy (from the movie _About Time_ )

 

 

 

  **Seoul, autumn of 2016**

 

 Cold wind shakes the polluted air around them.

 Like a tender whisper of a prohibited lover, Jackson feels it against the shell of his ear and blinks the forming tears from his eyes.

 ’’Put the gun down.’’ His voice comes out surprisingly steady from someone who has a weapon pointed to their forehead.

 The other male scowls, wrinkle between his furrowed eyebrows deepening.His hand trembles around the cold piece of metal.’’If I put it away from your head, we both know whose  one is    next.’’

 The words might have sounded threatening if his voice didn’t waver with repentance.

 For the first time since they’ve come to this situation, Jackson allows his eyes to fall to the light haired male, kneeling on the crannied concrete, head bowed low, breaths short  and  choppy.His eyes trace over the defeated posture of the other male, hunched shoulders and a forming bruise on his cheek.

 The gun does change its target, now pressed firmly to the kneeling man’s forehead.

 The victim’s knuckles change their color to bone white from gripping the material of his jeans with such force as if trying to tear them open.Jackson feels those same fingers  pulling the  invisible strings on his heart, with an intention to yank it right out of his chest.So far, it has been working like a charm.

 ’’Please...’’Jackson breaths out and that single word trembles in a cold shiver, mimicking the crisp wind that’s howling between the tall buildings.’’I know you don’t want to do  this,    Jiynoung.’’

 The said male’s eyes are glossy and reflective, just like the shattered glass all around them.Round and filled with remorse.

 ’’It’s the rule.’’ Jinyoung grasps the gun with a steadier hand.

 A moment of suffocating silence passes, serving its cause only for Jackson’s frown to deepen.

 ’’But it doesn’t have to end like _this_.’’

 Jinyoung clicks his tongue, flips the strand of jet-black hair out of his eye.’’It’s the goddamn _rule_.’’

 The words are brisk, like an edge of a dagger, setting the chill deep between Jackson’s bones.His forehead breaks out in cold sweat, sad smile tugging the corners  of his chapped lips.

 ’’Is that the same thing you told yourself when you had to pierce the bullet though Jaebum’s head?’’

 Jinyoung’s tear-stained eyes widen, hand trembling as if effortlessly tousled by the wind.A salty droplet falls from his eye, but he wipes it severely with the back of his hand, the  one without the gun.

 Jackson is well aware that he’s managed to hit right into the sensitive nerve.Pick the scab and tear open the scars that are hiding wounds still fresh and raw.He watches cautiously  as Jinyoung’s raven eyes dilute into liquid, pinched by the corners, scowl back on his lips.

 ’’Fuck you,’’ He grits through his teeth.’’At least I had the guts to get it done by myself.’’

_Yes, and look at what that has turned you into._

The words are resting on the tip of his tongue, filling his mouth with sour taste.He swallows thickly, but the bitterness still lingers behind his teeth.

’’You’re not a monster,’’ He tries his best to keep his voice soft and measured, like a summer breeze caressing tender skin.

Jinyoung keeps silent, face might as well have been carved out of stone aside from the pair of dark onyxes, glistening under the moonlight.Those eyes that hold generous amount of emotion, yet at the same time hide everything Jackson has used to know.

He lets the painful mix of nostalgia and disbelief wash over him in waves, makes one step forward only to stop abruptly when Jinyoung’s fingers tighten against the trigger.

’’Jinyoung...’’ His voice trails off into a broken whisper making the other male’s expression harden.

’’Don’t.’’ Jinyoung warns, pushing the gun into Mark’s forehead, leaving angry, red imprints on pale skin.The kneeling male lets out a heart wrenching whimper that shakes Jackson to the core.

’’Listen to me,’’ Jackson all but begs, eyes narrowing.’’It doesn’t have to end this way.’’

The mask breaks gradually, chips off like a worn out façade in a form of trembling lips and ghostly breaths.Jackson sees a crack in Jinyoung’s deplorable expression and decides to slip through it quickly.

He inhales sharply.’’It wasn’t his fault.He’s never done anything to deserve this.’’

The words fall into the empty space between them.

For a brief moment of silence, Jackson gives himself the luxury to think that _maybe,_ he’s managed to convince the other male to drop his weapon.But then Jiynoung’s eyes snap as if awoken from a trance, filled with such amount of disgust that takes Jackson aback.

Jiynoung’s lips twist into a sour grimace.’’No, it wasn’t his fault,’’ he says calmly.The wind stops, chilly autumn air completely freezing between them.Suddenly, it feels as if the time has stopped to a halt, mocking them with the misplaced irony of the whole situation.’’It’s all yours.’’

And before the bullet can even graze the skin of Mark’s forehead, Jackson shuts his eyes tightly and prays for _this_ to work fast.

~~~

 

_'’If this works, I’ll give you twenty bucks.’’_

_’’Don’t barge on something that you’re bound to lose.’’_

_Jackson smirks.’’Lose? Aren’t you getting a bit ahead of yourself?’’_

_A throaty chuckle.’’I wouldn’t if I wasn’t sure.’’_

_Jackson smirk dips into a frown._

_’’You seriously want me to believe that all men in our family are able to time travel, dad?’’_

_The man before him only smiles softly with a shrug.Jackson swallows, air in the room suddenly to thick to breath in properly._

_’’Okay, so let’s say that hypothetically this thing works...which it doesn’t-’’_

_’’It does.’’_

_’’Yeah, sure.’’ Jackson clears his throat, lets a moment of silence stretch for a second longer until he peers at his father through a curtain of black lashes.’’How would one be able to do it?’’_

_The grey haired male grins knowingly, crosses his arms over his chest and Jackson feels a strange kind of twisting in the pit of his stomach._

_’’Well hypothetically,’’ He says, voice coated with cumbersome amusement.’’You close your eyes, clench your fists tightly and think about a time and a place in which you’ve been and want to go back again.’’_

_Jackson raises his eyebrow.’’That’s it?’’_

_’’Of course not, there are some ground rules.’’_

_Jackson lets out a snort of incredulity.’’Rules?’’_

_His father’s expression hardens, small eyes squinting with sudden seriousness.’’Time travel is a serious thing, Jackson.’’ He uncrosses his arms and pulls up a chair to sit opposite of his son.’’One of the most important rules is that you mustn't go back past someone’s death or birth.Yours included.’’_

_’’Oh shoot,’’ Jackson snaps his fingers as if deeply disappointed by the given fact.’’I was hoping for some one on one action with Marilyn Monroe.’’_

_His father’s eyes narrow._

_’’Okay, okay.Sorry,’’ Jackson mumbles.’’This is such a strange concept.’’_

_His father humms.’’Listen to me,boy.You can’t slaughter world’s gratest villans or shag all time iconic celebreties.’’ He smiles softly upon seeing Jackson’s gloomy face.’’ What you can do though, is change small things in your life, petty mistakes to make living it easier.’’_

_’’This is such a weird joke.’’ Jackson concludes, staring at his father with round, brown eyes.The man pats him on the back reassuringly, standing up._

_’’I know this is a lot to take in, but you can always try it out and see for yourself.’’_

_With one last smile, he leaves the room, doors closing with a distant click._

_So, with a deep sigh and fifteen minutes of self-debate of how borderline ridiculous this whole situation is, he does.He shuts his eyes tightly, clenches his fists with mild hesitation and gives himself over completely to a feeling of time stopping, then rewinding as if someone had pressed the ’back’ button on a movie player._

~~~

**Seoul, summer of 2016**

 

He jerks up with a gasp.

The rapid motion leaves him feeling as if he was drowning, managing to free himself seconds before he was suffocated for good.And it’s _familiar_ , the relief that washes over him like a summer downpour, tense muscles relaxing, breaths evening out into a series of steady inhales and exhales.

_I did it._

The feeling of remission only warms him up more, cooling down the dread that’s been crunching in his stomach nonstop.

He blinks, shakes his head and checks the alarm clock on the bedside table.Dim light flickers through a slot on the door, reflecting against the digital device, making the red numbers blink up at him.

_1:31am_

With a sigh, he lets his fingers glide over the crumpled sheets, mind still slightly disoriented and detached from the surrounding.White fabric pulls over his flushed skin almost sensually, making his body irrupt with goosebumps.

_Wait.Flushed?_

He lifts the sheets from his lower body with a frown and _of course._ Of course he’s naked.Why wouldn’t he be?

 He remembers this clearly since it hadn't occurred a long time ago.And even if it had, he certainly wouldn’t be able to forget the feeling of smooth skin, as pale as the sheets, and all those erotic whispers against the shell of his ear.But more than anything else, he definitely wouldn’t be able to forget the overwhelming heat traveling through his veins like a drug, igniting every nerve in his body in flames.

With one last distressed sigh, he tangles his hands into his hair, fingers digging into the scalp with a force to bruise.

This he can deal with.

Physical pain he’d take any day over this horrible ache that dissolves his heart to pieces, as if poured over with acid.

_But I did it._

The realization clings to him like second skin, soft breeze from outside ruffling the strands of hair that have fallen into his eyes without him even noticing.

Distant sound of someone tapping away on a laptop cuts through the serene silence, bringing Jackson’s focus back to the door that are open ajar.

He lifts himself up slowly to let his feet touch the cool, laminated floor, allowing himself a moment of utter bliss as the cooling sensation travels through his body in a shiver.

_This, I can deal with._

He pads through the narrow hallway, pulling a pair of boxers from the laundry basket before casually slipping into them.He sees a half-empty pack of cigarettes resting on a shoe rack.

And there’s no reason to glare at the small cardboard box, _really_.But he still does it anyway.

There’s also no reason to feel as nervous as he _is_ feeling, sneaking through the corridor like it isn’t his own.After all, he’s _been_ here already. They’ve _been_ here.

The sudden mental reminder leaves his bruised heart to further swell in his chest, sadness leaking over his features like the soft orange light that hits him as soon as he enters the living room.

The smell of nicotine makes his head spinn, but so does the alleviation of seeing a fammiliar outline of a body hunched over a laptop, light brown hair mused and face hidden in shadows.

_God, give me strength._

Jackson takes a few easy steps, follows the line of smoke that’s flowing from between pale fingers, and clears his throat.

Mark’s deep brown eyes meet his through a cloud of grey mist.

Jackson feels as if the remaining oxygen has been knocked right out of his lungs.

’’Why are you up?’’ Mark asks, voice raspy and Jackson can’t quite pinpoint if it’s from the lack of sleep or from that poison he inhales.

His lip curls into a cat-like grin.’’Why are you smoking again?’’

’’I asked first.’’

Jackson lets out a chuckle of disbelief when he catches the playful glint in Mark’s eyes.And it makes him unbelievably blithe, seeing Mark somewhat happy and, well, _in one piece._ Something gets stuck in his throat, suffocating and bitter, fingers flexing by his sides as if to grasp something, _anything_ to keep himself grounded.All he gets is thin air.

He walks over to the couch, this time with slightly cautious steps, and even if he notices the hesitation in Jackson’s walk, Mark doesn’t mention it.

The blonde makes himself comfortable on the worn out piece of furniture, between their red cushion and Mark’s half-naked body.Unlike himself, the other male had enough decency to put on a grey tank top, sides cut low, leaving almost nothing to the imagination.

Jackson refuses to let his eyes wander down over the smooth curve of Mark’s spine that dips into an old pair of boxers he has on and he _most definitely_ doesn’t linger a moment too long on a small reddish bruise imprinted on the older male’s pale neck.The welt stares right back at him, as if mocking their previous inability too keep hands off each other.And mouths.

He shakes his head to banish those inadequate thoughts away.

’’I couldn’t sleep.’’ He gives an answer, completely sure that the previous question has already been forgotten.’’Your turn.’’ He adds nevertheless.

With his eyes still on the illuminating screen, Mark lets his lips to stretch into a full blown grin, teeth and all and, _fuck_ , Jackson feels as if his lungs are going to draw forward into his sternum.

’’Cigarette a day keeps the doctor away.’’

Jackson lets a bark of laughter, thick and hoarse, head tipping back so that he can at least pretend that the way Mark’s eyes skim over his naked torso doesn’t bother him the slightest.

He props his feet on the coffee table in front of him before plucking the cancer stick right from between Mark’s fingers.The other male clicks his tongue disapprovingly, but lets Jackson press the cigar in the ashtray anyway.

’’I’m pretty sure that only goes for apples.And quantity obviously beats quality," he glances at the ashtray filled with at least five more cigarette butts.’’At least in your case.’’

Mark smiles, but it never fully reaches his eyes.

It’s an ugly look on him, Jackson notes mentally, being _unhappy_.If he could, he would swipe the worries right out of those chocolate eyes, press his lips _hard_ to Mark’s so that he forgets everything that’s bothering him.

_’’It wasn’t his fault.He’s never done anything to deserve this.’’_

Jackson inhales sharply, clears his throat and peers over Mark’s shoulder.’’Back on this again?

Brown haired male only hums distractedly in response.

Jackson stares pointedly at the words being written on the white screen, each of them thought out carefully and thoroughly.And this too is _familiar_.Comforting.

As the wind blows through open windows, making the curtains dance in an odd, off sync rhythm with each other, Jackson never wants Mark to stop writing.To stop expressing himself.Creating new worlds on blank paper, painting the white canvas with vivid  colors and shades while shifting reality into something more bearable, rather sweet than bitter.

_’’It doesn’t have to end like this.’’_

The words that were previously said ring in his ears like a repetitive melody his brain can’t get rid off.

 _Stop_.

’’Does it at least end happily this time?’’ Jackson’s question comes out muffled as he dips his head into the crook of Mark’s neck and leaves a soft kiss to the tender  flesh.Mark shivers under his lips.

The older male takes his time to answer, fingers stopping abruptly over the keyboard only when he turns his head slightly to the side and looks at Jackson out of the corner of his eye.

’’Does it ever?’’

Three words shouldn’t cut this deep.They shouldn’t pierce his heart like a dozen of tiny needles, making the sensitive muscle slowly drip blood.Drop by drop by drop.

Jackson keeps silent, not so much for the fact that his brain isn’t able to form an intelligible sentence at the moment, but rather because he’s aware that there aren’t much happy endings in life.No _happily ever afters._

Mark’s muscles suddenly tense underneath him, fingers flexing over the polished wood.

’’You came back.’’

Easy, quick, painful.Like bullets through his chest.

_’’Put the gun down.’’_

Jackson keeps his mouth shut, eyes just shy of closing as well.

Mark lowers his head, propping his his own chin on top of his intertwined fingers.’’Which means something bad must’ve happened.’’ His expression is a carbon copy of Jackson’s, lips pressed into a thin line, eyebrows furrowed.Those deep, brown eyes suddenly hold such amount of solicitude that leaves Jackson’s stomach twisting abnormally.

’’How’d you know?’’ He leans in, his own orbs filed with query.’’That I came back, I mean.’’

Mark smiles weakly.’’Oh please. I’ve lived with you long enough to know that feeling as if something had already happened isn’t just a severe case of _deja vu_.’’

_Of course._

’’So what made you do it?’’ Mark closes the laptop with a distant sound that gets lost through ringing in Jackson’s ears.’’If I remember correctly, you told me a week ago that you’ll stop traveling.’’

And he did.

He specifically used those exact damn words.

He was foolish enough back then to think that he’d be able to carry on through life like every other human being without this ability.This cursed blessing.Double-edged sword.

Maybe Jackson’s sullen expression reveals too much, or maybe Mark has the ability to read him like an open book.Whichever it is, the brown haired male smiles gently and kneads his fingers through the short hairs on Jackson’s nape.He leans in closer, noses bumping, foreheads touching.

’’Must’ve been something really awful to make you come all the way here.’’ He whispers, shamelessly glides his gaze down Jackson’s bare torso, eyes lingering on his boxers.

And all Jackson can feel is sadness.Humming and destructive, pulling over his skin like a horrible burn, clogging up his throat almost to the point of chocking on his own breath.

_You have no idea._

But it’s batter this way.That’s why he’s doing it in the first place.Because even never seeing Mark again certainly is better than losing him forever.

Like a man seeking to satisfy his hunger, he parts his lips, feels Mark’s nicotine filled breath caress his mouth before he closes the tiny space between them.

He presses their lips rashly, desperately tries to feel as much of that bitter, toxic taste as he can.The intensity of the kiss pushes Mark back, makes him grasp the back of Jackson’s neck harder, keep himself grounded as if he’ll float away if he doesn’t hold on tight.

Jackson cups Mark’s face in both his palms, bites the swollen red lips, pulling a low hiss out of Mark’s throat.He soothes the wound with a tentative lick of his tongue.

Mark pulls him closer, one hand resting on Jackson’s bicep, skin scorching underneath his fingertips like fire.As if burnt, Jackson disconnects their mouths and the coldness slowly seeps into the empty space between them.

Their forehead stay pressed together, breaths mingling into one to the point where Mark is breathing in him. _For him._

And it’s never been harder to form a coherent sentence as it is now.

He pulls away slowly, lets his eyes linger a tad bit longer on Mark’s abused lips, but not on those brown eyes that have turned black from the conflict of lust and anxiety, all mixed up into one big, fat blob of emotion that Jackson can’t deal with.

So he closes his eyes.

’’I need to go back.’’

He knows that Mark has understood him from the way that his fingers dig into Jackson’s nape as if too seek comfort, to keep them _both_ grounded.He tries to make Jackson look at him, brushing their mouths in a ghost-like sweep, but gives up with a sigh when Jackson’s closed eyes refuse to open.

’’How far?’’

The words roll over Jackson’s closed lips, stay there like melting snowflakes and he drinks them up selfishly, lets them to dissolve on his tongue before he opens his mouth to speak.

’’At the time when I didn't know you.’’

~~~

_’’I don’t know what you did-’’_

_’’I didn’t do anything.’’_

_’’But this is impossible!’’_

_Completely petrified, Jackson looks at his father who’s calmly sitting in his reading chair, flipping through a copy of ’Old Man And The Sea’._

_’’Close the door.’’ The man says  without pulling his head from the book in his hands.Jackson does, chest heaving up and down as if he had run a marathon._

_’’Sit.’’ He points to the sofa opposite of himself and Jackson stares at the man who had made him, than at the piece of ugly, green furniture with a raised eyebrow.’’I’m not a dog, you know.’’_

_His father lets out a sigh of dismay.’’Just sit, please.’’_

_Jackson sits. Doesn’t even try to make himself comfortable on the old davenport since the atmosphere is anything but that.Rays of sun are seeping through the blinds, casting crooked shadows on the walls._

_His father flips through a few more pages and Jackson is ready to stand up and leave all this madness behind, try to pretend as if he hadn’t just traveled back to past, but then-_

_’’How far back did you go?_

_The question is downright casual; like he’s just asked him if it’s raining.Which it isn’t, but Jackson feels as if a heavy grey cloud is dangling right above his head, ready to soak him wet in seconds._

_He exhales soundly, the motion leaving him to feel like a deflating balloon.’’Party for my fourteenth birthday.’’ He shakes his head.’’Shit, this is crazy.’’_

_He doesn’t catch his father grinning, but he sure as hell hears the chuckle in his voice when he asks if there’s a reason he choose that particular time of his life._

_’’No.’’_

_Yes._

_His first kiss.In a storage closet.Clumsy and wet and all kinds of awkward, with a girl two years older that had confessed to him that same night, after having two glasses of kids’ champagne, that she had hots for him since ’forever’._

_That was the night when he realized that vaginas aren’t his cup of tea._

_And going back certainly hadn’t changed a thing._

_Her lips were still overly moist whilst his were too chapped.He tried to pull away to breath but she only kissed him harder, plucked her tongue through his sewn lips messily.The nasty event resolved itself with Jackson pushing her away with hands on her shoulders, mumbling a small ’I’m sorry’ before darting out of the cramped space with a speed of light._

_He closes his eyes and tries really hard to ignore the taste of sixteen-year-old, champagne stained lips on his own.He shudders in disgust._

_’’How can you be so calm?’’ Jackson snaps his head up, fixing his father with a stare full of disbelief.’’We can literally travel through time!’’_

_The man before him shrugs, licks the pad of his thumb before flipping another page, eyes skimming over the content.’’The sooner you come to the terms with it, the better for you.’’_

_’’And how long did it take you? Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get used to it.’’_

_’’Why are you so exasperated with all of this?’_

_’’Why am I-We can go back in time!’’ He raises his voice, stretches his arms out, eyes almost bulging out of his head.His father closes the book with a thud, doesn’t even bother to put the limiter between the two pages and Jackson has a feeling that he had read that book over a thousand times._

_’’So?’’ His greyish eyebrows raise lightly.’’ I’ve told you already.You can’t make any drastic changes.’’_

_Jackson’s hands drop by his sides, skepticism written over his features like the words in Hemingway’s novel._

_’’What do you use it for then?’’ Jackson has to asks like he hadn’t already gotten a lecture in all of this._

_A timid smile.’’Mostly for reliving memories.But you can change a thing or two, play with destiny and see where it gets you.I wouldn’t advise you to do that though.’’ He fixes the glasses that have fallen to the bridge of his nose.’’Destiny’s a lady after all.’’_

_Jackson doesn’t think he wants to relive that ’memory’ ever again._

_The taste of cheap champagne still lingers in his mouth when he licks the back of his teeth and clicks his tongue, leaning back against the armrest._

_’’Does mom know?’’_

_His father’s expression suddenly falls serious, frown carving itself on his thin lips.’’If she knew, I’d have to kill her.’’_

_Jackson sits up abruptly, looks at his father with eyes that are squinted in suspicion.’’Is this an attempt to make a lame movie reference or should I be scared shitless?’’_

_’’Neither.’’ He scoots closer, legs of the chair making a cringe worthy noise against the wooden floor.’’Rule number two.A person who’s in love with you and who you love back must never find out about this ability that you have.’’_

_Jackson’s eyebrows furrow.’’Why?’’_

_’’Simply put, there are bad people in this world and they all want the secret of time traveling so that they could use it in the wrong purposes.To fulfill their selfish needs.’’_

_’’What secret?’’_

_’’If I told you it wouldn’t be a secret, right?’’ He grins.’’Maybe one day you’ll find out on your own.’’_

_Jackson feels irritation mixed with a headache coming to him from all the riddles his dad is speaking in._

_’’But if a person loves you, doesn’t that mean they’ll protect your secret?’’_

_His father looks at him, sadness pooling in black orbs.’’Unfortunately not always.’’_

_’’And killing a person solves the problem.’’ He says, words dripping with sarcasm.’’Isn’t that just a tad bit brutal and oh, I don’t know, utterly insane?!’’_

_His father stares at him with such amount of despair in his eyes that it makes Jackson swallow down the dryness of his throat, feeling as if it’s made out of sandpaper._

_’’Better keep your secret well then.’’_

_The air in the room thickens, tension so hard it could be cut with a knife._

_’’And what if I don’t want to do that?’’ Jackson raises from his seat, completely and utterly agitated.’’To kill a person I love.’’_

_His father picks up the book again, opening a random page without looking, fingers skimming over the old, yellowish paper._

_’’Somebody else will.’’_

~~~

 

**Seoul, winter of 2015**

 

Reality comes back to him in a form of warmness that’s licking along his arm and a smell of apple and cinnamon tea in his nostrils.

His eyes snap open.

There are black dots dancing in the periphery of his vision, making him blink a couple of times to bring his world back to focus.

He’s in front of a large brick fireplace, fire crackling behind the iron bars as if desperately wanting to escape its cage.Jackson feels more heat on his skin, burning much deeper than just the surface of his body, flames steadily flowing through his veins all the way to his beating heart.

But it does absolutely nothing to warm him up.

The chill lingers in his gut, head pounding behind the temples.

No matter how many times he does it, he still can’t get fully used to the feeling of his body being pushed into some kind of a vacuum, making his breathing slow down and every part of his body to swell.

And it was _fucking_ scary, first couple of times that he’d done it.But overtime, he’s  learned to  still his mind, clear it out completely and leave only that single place and time that he wants to go back to.

It’s December 7th

He doesn’t need to check the calendar, but he still does it because right beside it, there’s picture of him and Mark from their recent visit to his parents.The brown haired male is smiling brightly, crouching somewhat uncomfortably while holding the biggest cat Jackson had ever seen in his twenty some years of life.

 _Pumpkin_.

Jackson likes to think that he has a healthy love-hate relationship with that orange ball of fur. _Love_ as in, she occasionally brushes against his legs and leaves a butt load off cat hair on his black trousers, sometimes even snuggling by his side when he’s watching TV.And _hate_ as in, she still scratches his clothes to shreds when he leaves them over for his mom to wash them and has peed on his _MP3 player_ more times than he can count on his fingers.Which is disturbing, if you think about it further.

He doesn’t.

Instead, he eyes the cup of tea before him, steam that’s coming out of it evaporating into the warm air around him, its aroma spreading like one of the miserable memories in his mind.

_’’I’m home!’’ Mark closes the door of their apartment, hands occupied by a dozen of grocery bags.He stands in the hallway, with his shoes still on, casting a look of incredulity towards the living room where Jackson is sprawled on the couch watching some kind of a football game._

_’’It’s okay, I can stand here all night.’’ He huffs out mildly annoyed, shifting from one foot to the other.’’Wang Jackson!’’_

_Upon hearing his name said with such a monitory undertone, Jackson disconnects his eyes from the big screen abruptly, almost trips over his own feet as he rushes over to help the older male who only clicks his tongue disapprovingly with a timid smile on his lips._

_’’Sorry, intense game.’’ Jackson smiles sheepishly, hair mused, clothes wrinkled and Mark can’t really find it in himself to stay mad.At least not after Jackson leans in, placing a chaste kiss against his cold lips._

_’’Still snowing?’’ The blonde asks, leaving the paper bags on the dining table, eyes glued to the TV.He yells in victory when his team scores.Mark shakes his head, pulling off his coat with a shrug of his shoulders._

_’’Like mad,’’ He rolls the sleeves of his sweater and starts emptying all the stuff  he’s bought.’’If it continues like this, we’ll be completely stuck in here.’’_

_Jackson chuckles, casting a look full of mirth at the amount of viands on the table.’’At least we’ll have enough food to get us through a month.’’_

_He skillfully avoids celery that was aimed at his head._

_’’Hey!’’ He laughs, taking the vegetable from the floor before slapping Mark’s ass with it playfully.’’Didn’t your mother tell you not to play with your food?’’ He circles his arms around Mark’s narrow waist, kissing the patch of pale skin where his neck meets his shoulder.The older male lets out a sigh of content, leaning back against Jackson’s hard chest._

_They just stand in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, swaying lightly from side to side as if there was some kind of music playing other than a series of loud shouts and whistle blows coming from the television._

_’’I did it.’’_

_The swaying stops precipitously._

_Jackson spins Mark around in his arms, looking at the older male with wide eyes._

_’’Don’t fuck with me, Tuan.’’ He warns, but his voice cracks when he sees just how glossy and excited Mark’s eyes are.The older male is shaking his head, but the grin on his lips is threatening to split his face in half._

_’’They approved it! My book is going to get published!’’_

_’’Holy shit Mark!’’_

_’’I know!’’_

_’’Holy fucking shit!’’_

_’’I know! Why are we yelling?!’’_

_’’Because I’m so fucking proud of you!’’_

_Jackson gathers the other male in a bear hug, squeezing the hell out of him.They laugh and yell and laugh and yell some more, but it’s okay.The grumpy old lady from the third floor is so deaf she can barely hear herself thinking and the young couple above them has just moved out recently._

_Truthfully, Jackson couldn’t care less at the moment.The only thing that matters is that Mark’s hard work has finally payed off.A year and a half of working on that damn book through sweat and tears and frustration.And all those times Jackson would hug him tight, murmuring ’you can do this’ on Mark’s salt stained lips._

_’’You’re suffocating me, babe.’’ Mark groans, still trapped between Jackson’s arms.’’Not that I mind, but a man needs to breath.’’_

_Jackson loosens his grip with a raspy chuckle but doesn’t pull his hands away, keeping Mark in his embrace.’’This calls for a celebration.’’_

_’’Good thing I bought wine then.’’ And the smile that stretches on Mark’s lips is mesmerizing.Jackson kisses his lips once, twice, three times, before Mark’s giggling and pushing him away.’’Before I forget, I called my sister over.Hope you don’t mind.She was making me company today at the office after she finished her dance lesson so I decided to call her over.’’_

_Jackson taps his fingers against Mark’s hips and hums.’’Of course not.When is she coming?’’_

_Mark leans his back against the edge of the table, checks his wrist watch with a furrow of his brows.’’She should’ve been here already.’’_

_’’Don’t worry, the roads are probably a bit tricky from all the snow.’’ He says reassuringly when he sees a glint of worry in Mark’s brown eyes._

_Mark makes dinner.And it’s just pasta with a bit of tomato sauce and vegetables, but it’s the most delicious thing Jackson had tasted in a while.The older male tells him about his ’asshole of a boss’ who wanted to keep him an hour longer so that he could fulfill some ’garbage contracts’.Tells him about his new secretary, kind middle-aged woman, with shoulder length hair and ’a smile that could heal’._

_They sip their wine slowly and Jackson thinks it’s good quality for inexpensive variety.He tells this to Mark who snorts against the rim of his glass but agrees wholeheartedly._

_Half an hour passes in a blur to the sound of glasses clanking against each other and utensils scraping against the colorful plates.With each passing second, Jackson notices Mark growing more and more restless, checking his phone every couple of moments, trying to make it seem casual but failing when the device finally buzzes, his hand trembling._

_He frowns at the unknown number._

_’’Who is it?’’ Jackson asks._

_Mark shrugs halfheartedly and picks up.’’Hello?’’_

_There is a male voice on the other end, one that Jackson can’t pinpoint to whom it belongs to, but his stomach twists awfully when Mark visibly tenses.’’Yes, this is him speaking.’’_

_The man continues, and Mark’s face pales with every single word uttered.Jackson stares at him in question, lips pressed into a firm line._

_The older male finishes the call without even saying a word, sliding it from his ear distantly.Silence falls between them like a black veil, agony of not knowing what’s happening pulling Jackson to the edge.Loud cheers and whistles blend into the background noise._

_’’Her car crashed.’’ Mark mutters after what seems like small eternity.’’Some asshole decided to drive past the speed limit in this kind of weather.’’ He lets out a deep sigh, rubbing the back of his palm against his eye.’’She’s in hospital not far away from here but-’’ He chokes on his own words.Immediately, Jackson is by his side, embracing him in his arms while pulling him closer, tighter.Tries to pull the misery away from the other’s face, desperately tries to find a way to make it better._

_There is a dangerous option at the back of his brain.It weights him down like a heavy rock.A burden resting on his shoulders that makes him stop and think if it’s worth risking his chances.There’s a conflict in his head between wanting nothing more than to use this godawful ability for something that could save someone’s life or letting life itself take care of it in order to prevent losing one._

_He sees Mark’s tear stained cheeks, feels the wrenching sobs shaking every cell in his body.And before he can even think, his mouth open, words falling out of them like Mark’s  salty tears that are staining his shirt._

_’’Do you trust me?’’ He asks, voice damaged and hoarse.Mark freezes, stands still and lets out on breath into Jackson’s collarbones before he nods, short and weak.Jackson’s heart swells.’’Give me your hands.’’_

_It’s only then that Mark straightens, looks at Jackson with glossy, red eyes.’’What are you doing, we need to get to the hospita-’’_

_’’Just take my hands, and hold them tightly.’’_

_And without further complains, Mark does.He holds onto them so tightly that Jackson almost feels his knuckles breaking.He allows himself to look at Mark’s deep brown eyes for a second longer before he orders him to close them, following suit._

_He imagines Mark in an office, couple hours earlier, his sister siting on his desk and kicking her feet as if she’s sitting at the edge of the pool.The moment rewinds.Mark comes home and Jackson instantly tells him to call her and tell her not to come.The other one complies with just a bare twitch of his eyebrow upwards and an ’okay?’ that sounds more like a question than an agreement._

_The vacuum sucks them into an abyss._

_Jackson feels as if he’s suffocating._

_Then, he slowly starts to feel Mark’s bone crushing grip on his hands again._

_There’s no dreadful phone call.Cheers are still erupting from the TV.Mark is still safe and sound in his arms._

_They both open their eyes in union._

_Mark stares at him, fright engraved into his face.’’What the fuck just happened?’’_

_Jackson feels the weight of those words on his shoulder, replacing the heavy rock that has been there not even seconds before.They dig  into his back like spears, forcing him to take shallow, pitiful breaths.The headache is starting to creep into his skull slowly._

_’’We need to talk.’’_

- 

It ends as if it were a flicker of imagination, clear and transparent like the steam coming out of his cup of tea.But the horrible feeling in his gut indicates that it had happened.And it won’t be long  before he’ll have to go back and fix the mess he had made.There’s no other way to do this right when everything had went wrong from the start.

He washes the lingering taste of sorrow with a sip of apple and cinamon tea and stands up slowly.

The apartment is so quiet, he can almost hear the walls breathing.

Couple of boards creak underneath his feet.

The door to his and Mark’s bedroom are slightly open, but inside it’s dark and Jackson knows that the other male is soundly asleep.That makes it slightly easier to climb into the bed, lifting the covers and dropping them over them both gently.

His arms find Mark’s waist, hugging him from behind and pulling their bodies close together, legs tangling into a loopy mess where one wouldn’t be able to tell where first body started and other ended.

He inhales deeply to let the smell of Mark’s shampoo stay in his nosetrills.

The other male stirs in his sleep, head tilting back slightly to peer at the blonde through the darkness.

’’You’re back?’’ He lets out a small yawn, turning around clumsily, mind still detached from reality.Jackson smiles warmly, albeit the melancholy that’s tearing him apart.

He humms in response.

’’Long day at work?’’

Another hum.

’’Found the tea I left you?’’

Hum.

Mark goes in for a kiss, half missing, with his mouth partly  landing on the other male’s chin.He snuggles deeper into Jackson’s body.

’’You’re cold.I don’t like it.’’

And suddenly Jackson feels as if they’re worlds apart despite holding onto each other like two paperclips.Maybe he’s the one who’s holding on for dear life, never wanting to let go of this _memory_.And if he could, he’d come back to it every single day just to hold the other in his arms until the next sunrise.

But there is a _mission_ he needs to fulfill, and getting to the final goal seeks no distractions.No matter how tempting they might be.

’’I’m sorry.’’ He mutters into Mark’s slightly damp hair, not only referring to the warmness that his body lacks, and kisses the other’s temple softly.

He closes his eyes, disconnects his arms from around Mark’s waist carefully to clench his fists tightly by his side and lets the already familiar feeling of slipping into nothingness consume him.

~~~

Like moving pictures on the screen, memory turns to life in front of his eyes.

The phone rings.The cheers stop.

Mark’s tears dampen the cotton of his shirt, bleeding over the fabric in wet patches.

He doesn’t ask Mark anything this time, just hugs him tightly, pulling them both to sit on the laminated floor and waits for the sun to rise so that they could go to the hospital.

Mark’s sister would never be able to dance again.

v

The secret of time traveling, Jackson finds out eventually, isn’t much of a secret.

We all do it, everyday of our lives.We unconsciously travel through seconds and minutes and hours until we come to that single point in our life when we ask ourselves _How did I manage to get so old? Where had all that time flown?_

Nowhere.

Time is an illusion.It’s fictive.Abstract noun made to be mended and shifted, but unfortunately trapped and restricted by clocks and digital watches through decades.

Fortunate individuals had managed to blur those boundaries, pass all the limitations and see another world, full of options and room for correcting errors.Their own mistakes made in moments of inadvertence.And there aren’t many of those who are able to do so.

The twist however, is that _anyone_ who has a traveler by their side can.

Anyone who is strong enough in their mind and open to seeing the alternative.To relive life from a different point of view.

And that thought alone pulls a string of paradoxes with itself.A chain reaction.

Because, if a lot of people began to time travel, there would always be that one person to cause a _Butterfly Effect_.Leap beyond boundaries that have been set there for a reason.Change history beyond repair.And that would all verily end in a catastrophe.

Overtime, Jackson comes to terms with it, but still feels his stomach drop one night when he finds out that Jinyoung couldn’t manage to keep his secret _well enough_.

~~~

_The day when Jackson meets Mark for the first time is like any other day._

_Ironic in its normality, it will be the day to change his life completely._

_But the downfall plays out gradually._

_Firstly, his world shakes.Literally shakes with manual force as his brother jolts him awake from his nap with a hard shove on his shoulder, looking down at him with unrighteous glint in his eyes and a wide grin on his lips._

_Jackson groans, stretches, and peers at the older male with an effort to keep his eyes open.’’The fuck you want?’’_

_Jinyoung’s smile doesn’t waver and he only pulls the edge of the white covers, peeling them from Jackson’s body in a swift movement.’’Come to the game with me.’’_

_Jackson lets out a dry laugh.’’No thanks. I’m not interested in third-wheeling for you and your boyfriend.’’_

_Jinyoung frowns, cheeks puffing out.’’But you like football.’’_

_’’I do,’’ Jackson snuggles into the covers, hugging the pillow no sign of getting up.’’What I don’t like is watching and hearing you two make out half the game.’’_

_The same pillow is yanked from his grasp, hitting his head seconds later.’’Jaebum and I don’t do that!’’ Jinyoung exclaims, red tinting his cheeks.’’And he's playing today.’’_

_’’Good for him.’’ Jackson smirks and turns around so the only answer Jinyoung gets is his fabulous ass.The pillow hits his head again.Jackson flips him the bird._

_’’Fine,’’ Jinyoung says eventually, after a moment of huffing like a spoiled brat, his voice somewhat further away.’’I’ll just leave you to hang out with dad.’’ Suddenly, there is a whisper close to his ear.’’He’s reading on of his books again.Beware the deep, psychological quotes.’’_

_Jackson pushes him away with a defeated grunt, gets up from the bed and swings that same poor pillow at Jinyoung when the older male starts doing his victory dance._

_-_

_’’Let’s make a stop for coffee.’’ Jinyoung offers when they’re halfway to the stadium, pulling the sunglasses on his eyes to prevent them from damage of the glowing afternoon sun.Jackson forgot his at home._

_He squints.’’Do we have time? When does the game start?’’ He checks the clock on his phone._

_4:35pm, August 18th, 2014_

_’’Around 5:30,’’ Jinyoung runs a hand through his sweaty bangs.’’Damn, it’s hot.’’_

_Jackson send him a blatant look, hoping that the intensity of it  burns holes in Jinyoung’s black shades.’’You don’t say.’’_

_Jinyoung chuckles, already pulling Jackson to the nearest coffee shop down the street.’’Come on, don’t be a spoiled brat.Here, It’s on me.’’ He hands Jackson enough money for three lattes._

_’’How generous of you,’’ Jackson rolls his eyes.’’Yet, I’m still the one who has to get the drinks while you lounge on a chair.’’_

_Jinyoung shrugs from his place on one of the garden chairs, skin around his nose already slightly burned from the sun.Jackson feels his own sting to the touch._

_He enters the vividly colored place nonetheless, wind chime jiggling above his head and announcing his arrival._

_He lets himself enjoy the air condition, cool air quickly drying sweat on his skin.In that moment, he thinks that coming in here wasn’t such a bad idea after all.He closes his eyes and relaxes from the chilling sensation and the murmur of people around him._

_He doesn’t notice a red-haired male coming in after him, the wind chime yet again informing  the arrival._

_’’How can I help you?’’ The lady behind the counter asks in an overly joyful voice._

_Jackson smiles back.’’Three large lattes, please.’’_

_’’Coming right away, sir.’’_

_As he waits, he feels the presence of someone behind him but doesn’t acknowledge the person further.He casts a look through the large glass window where Jinyoung’s sitting outside, sipping on a lemonade he bought while waving at him.Jackson has such a great urge to flip him off again, but it’s a public place after all so he only mouths out ’dickhead.' Jinyoung’s smile widens._

_The coffee arrives, packed in a paper bag, and Jackson is thankful because he certainly doesn’t have an extra arm to carry Jaebum’s coffee as well.He thanks the lady, pays and turns around to leave._

_As soon as he does, the world dips under his feet._

_He collides with a lean body._

_His coffee drops to the ground, paper bag soaking through, but so does the strangers notebook.The noise makes a couple of people turn around to stare.Jackson feels his face heating up and can already imagine Jinyoung laughing his ass off outside._

_However, the ignominy leaves him as soon as he looks up and sees the most beautiful face he has ever seen in his life.The male has a washed out rad hair and small, warm eyes, sharp jaw and a breathtaking, nervous smile that engraves itself on his full lips as soon as their eyes meet._

_’’I am so sorry.’’ The male mumbles with guilt, soft baritone of his voice shaking Jackson out of his self-induced trance.He clears his throat, noticing only then that the other boy has kneeled down to pick up his belongings and Jackson’s coffee too, wincing slightly when the liquid drips through the bag._

_’’I-it’s okay,’’ Jackson’s voice breaks and he clears his throat one more time.’’I wasn’t the one paying attention.’’_

_The stranger is looking at him with those chocolate brown eyes, awkward silence stretching between them at an admirable speed.Jackson takes the ruined bag out of the other male’s grasp._

_’’I’m Mark.’’ The redhead says quickly, puts his laptop carrier bag under his pit along with the notebook and extands his clean hand out._

_Jackson takes it in a firm handshake.’’Jackson.’’_

_’’Nice to meet you.’’_

_’’Same.’’_

_He admires the softness of Mark’s skin, realizing that he’s been holding onto the other’s hand longer than necessary (and normal), so he lets it go abruptly.Mark bites his lip to stifle a smile._

_Jackson is getting ready to order three new coffees, embarrassment returning in a form of a red blush across his ears that he hopes passes off as heat.Screw the air-con._

_But before he can even utter a word, there is a tentative hand on his shoulder and a voice so close to his ear that he almost trips against thin air again._

_’’At least let me pay for those,’’ Mark’s already pulling out the bills and Jackson wants to stop him, does a great job in doing so, until Mark places an arm around his shoulder and smiles that thousand watt smile.’’It’s fine, really.It’s the least I can do.’’_

_It’s so cliche, Jackson wants to barf.But at the same time his stomach is doing this crazy, little twists and jumps that he simply nods, speechless.He’s too mesmerized by the way that Mark’s jawline moves as he speaks to the lady to notices that she’s smiling knowingly and writing something on the cup._

_’’Here you go,’’ Mark pushes a new brown bag in Jackson’s chest.’’Careful with this one.’’ And with a subtle wink, he’s walking away to sit behind one of the tables, pulling his laptop out._

_’’Thank you.’’ Jackson says a moment too late, but Mark doesn’t mind and grins at him again._

_Jackson swears he feel his world falling apart slowly, but strangely enough, he’s okay with that.Even more so when Jinyoung pulls his cup from the bag and asks ’’Whose number is this?’’_

~~~

**Seoul, autumn of 2015**

 

Truthfully, he’s not even sure himself why he came back to this memory.

Anymore distractions like these could be a potentinal threat for his _mission_ , but the feeling of nostalgia hit him so hard through these travels that he couldn’t really cut himself from one more moment spent with Mark before it all ended.The way it should have long ago.

Or maybe because it’s _Halloween_ and Mark decided to go as a pumpkin, with _Pumpkin_ in his arms.

’’It’ll be funny.’’ He says, kissing the cats head tenderly.

The fat, orange animal is staying with them for a week since his parents are on a trip to renovate their love or something like that.Jackson hadn’t been listening as per usual.

’’Only to you,’’ Jackson takes in Mark’s large, round costume made out of orange foam and tries really hard to keep his laughter at bay.’’Nobody else knows that our cat is named after a vegetable.’’

Mark pouts and Jackson ignores the sting it sents to his chest.

’’Daddy doesn’t like us twinning,’’ Mark pets the cat who lets out a pitiful whine.’’See? You made her sad.’’

_I’m doing a splendid job with that apparently._

And there it is, that well-known feeling of despondency, slicing through him like world’s sharpest blade.He bleeds out hopelessness and feels the copper taste of mournful regret heavy on his tongue.

Mark’s looking at him through his red fringe, strands of hair fallen into his eyes that hold a whole world in them.A world where it’s easy to fall because there’s always someone down there to catch you.A world where it’s simple to grasp reality and accept it for what it really is, without  having to change a single thing.Because normal people can’t.They live life as it is, take it with all its happy and sad moments, assent to the rule of _you’re born-you live-you die._

Zero corrections of errors.No second chances.Not a single memory to relive.

And boy, does he want to have that kind of luxury.

Suddenly, it’s too much to bear.All of it.Mark looking at him with query written all over his face, orange costume comically large on him and the cat in his arms even larger.It hurts so much, Jackson thinks he’ll break in half.

_I can’t._

’’Jackson, are you okay?’’

_Mark, I can’t._

Tears are burning his eyes as if he was looking straight at the sun.Mark might be the sun, with his sunny smiles of course, that aren’t anywhere close to appearing on his face that’s colored in all shades of concern.

Jackson takes large, rushed steps towards him, feels the nerves buzzing under his skin like  a colony of ants.

’’Jackson-’’

He shuts him up with a bruising kiss.

The cat hisses and jumps right out of Mark’s arms, leaving more space for Jackson to push them until the older male’s back is resting against one of the walls.Jackson kisses him with mad concentration, as if to carve every single flutter of Mark’s eyelashes across his skin into his brain.He licks Mark’s lips to open them up, tongue tracing the outline of Mark’s own in a sultry dance that pulls sharp gasps from Mark’s throat.

Jackson presses his hands hard against Mark’s hips, pulls their bodies flush together and the heat radiating off of Mark’s body is captivating, maddening, deadly.Dangerous because it makes him want to _stay_.

_I’m sorry.I can’t._

His composure shakes and breaks like fragile glass underneath Mark’s delicate fingers that grip his nape, tangled into his blonde hair.

There is a certain urgency in a way that Mark kisses him back.Like he too wants to keep this memory locked away in his memory forever.

Like they _both_ know that this kiss is their last.

In reality, only Jackson is aware of that.With that thought in mind, he picks up the torn pieces of his heart, sews them together messily, temporarily, long enough so that he could find it in himself to pull back, placing his head on Mark’s shoulder.He pants hard against Mark’s collarbones.

The red haired male’s hand cradles the back of Jackson’s head gently and just _holds him_.Holds him tight enough to feel Jackson falling apart slowly in his arms.

Jackson noses up Mark’s neck, puffs of breath leaving Mark’s skin to prickle.He leaves a kiss against the junction of Mark’s sharp jaw and pulls away with great resistance from his damaged heart that only wants to stay glued to the other male.

He avoids Mark’s eyes completely because looking into those pools of warmness would be almost as dangerous for his already shaken mind as the next thing he’s about to do.

’’I love you.’’

Silence falls around them and the air buzzes with static electricity.

And then Mark does something that shakes Jackson world again, makes it spin and dip and crumble all at once.He _smiles_.

’’I love you too.’’

Jackson’s eyes close on their own, fists clenching against his will as he tries not to read between the lines from the fear of seeing _goodbye_ in both of their confessions.But that’s exactly what they are.

And just seconds before he gets sucked into the familiar vacuum, time ready to freeze and rewind, he lets the well-guarded tears dampen his cheeks.

~~~

**August 18th, 2014, 4:35pm**

 

’’Let’s make a stop for coffee.’’

’’We don’t have time, the game’s about to start.’’

’’Not until 5:30,’’ Jinyoung says.’’Come on I’m craving a latte.’’ And he’s pulling Jackson towards the nears coffee shop down the street.

Jackson’s eyes catch a redhead figure entering the vividly colored shop.This time around, sound of wind chime is far away from the reach of his ears.Soundless.

He swallows thickly, past the lump forming in his throat and digs his heels into the ground to stop Jinyoung from pulling him further.’’I know a new place down the street.It’s cheaper.’’

He pulls his hand out of Jinyoung’s grasp while the other male clicks his tongue disapprovingly.’’You’ve always been cheap.’’

Jackson cracks a smile that never fully reaches his eyes.’’You’re paying anyway.’’

He starts walking again, Jinyoung mumbling something behind him grumpily, but follows nonetheless.

They pass the first coffee shop.They _must_ in order to get to the other one.Jackson tries hard to keep his gaze from wandering over to the large glass window, knowing just how lethal that might be.All his efforts come in vain.

He glances over just for a split second, but it’s enough to make his heart rate increase when he sees a dim outline of a body, sitting behind one of the tables with a cup of steaming coffee resting nearby.The red haired male’s gaze is focused on the illuminating screen of his laptop, fingers hastily typing against the keyboard to create something that Jackson is sure will be a bestseller one day.

~~~

_’’It’s like you’re running away from me.’’ Mark says.He sits up, holding Jackson’s slightly indifferent gaze._

_’’What do you mean?’’_

_’’I mean,’’ Mark pulls the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, takes one out to light it up before inhaling all the toxins into himself.Jackson frowns.’’Sometimes I feel like you’re passing me by in a rush, you know?’’_

_He does, but shakes his head no._

_Mark stares at him in silent fixation that would’ve been endearing given any other situation.He lets the smoke out  through his nose.’’It’s like time is passing us by in a rush.’’_

_Jackson stiffens.Mark feels it underneath his legs that are perched over the younger male’s lap._

_’’Time doesn’t rush.’’_

_That at least, is truth._

_Mark’s eyebrows raise only lightly.’’It doesn’t?’’_

_’’No.It slips through your fingers like fine grains of sand until you’re left with nothing more than dust on your palms.’’_

_Mark inhales again, waits a moment before exhaling, deep and slow.’’So when did we slip?’’_

_Silence._

_’’A long time ago.’’_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. Any kind of feedback from you would be greatly appreciated! See you again soon <3


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